Festivus

Festivus 2017 – Airing of Wine Grievances!

Festivus 2017 – Airing of Wine Grievances!

Today, December 23, 2017, is the celebration of Festivus.  Created in 1966 by Daniel O’Keefe and popularized during an episode of the hit TV show, Seinfeld, Festivus is celebrated with Feats of Strength and the Airing of Grievances.  So, in that spirit, we’re here to air a few wine grievances.  We’re looking to make this our one post a year that’s not entirely positive.  So, sit back.  Pour a glass and read on!

These are in no particular order:

  • Lack of hashtags in posts on social media about wines, wineries, vineyards.  You see we’re big proponents of hashtags as a way to brand.  So, all you #NCWine folks out there, USE THE DANG HASHTAG!
  • Untrained tasting room staff.  There’s nothing worse than a tasting room staff who know nothing about the wines they are pouring.  We understand that getting good help can be difficult, but a poor experience affects your brand.
  • Poor tasting glasses.  We’ll admit it.  We’re glass snobs.  Please no glasses with the “lip” around the rim.  These just don’t show wines well.  Upgrade the glass and the experience!
  • Too many wines on the list.  We see this all the time.  Wines lists with 10, 15 or even 20 wines.  We feel this is just too many to be able to focus on quality unless you have a large production staff.  So, scale it back.  You don’t need a new wine for every season.
  • Wineries who aren’t forthcoming in where the grapes for their wine are sourced.  We like to know what we’re tasting and where it was sourced.  If you’re not using local fruit, admit it.  Don’t try to hide it.

  • Children in tasting rooms.  This is probably our #1 grievance if we had to rank them.  Children can’t drink.  Don’t bring them with you to a winery.  Wining is an adult thing and many of us wish to adult in peace and quiet.
  • Parties of 6 or more in tasting rooms who have not called ahead.  This is annoying for tasting room staff and other customers.  If you’re in a group, be courteous!  Call ahead!
  • People who only drink dry wine.  You’re missing out on some really great sweeter wines.
  • People who only drink sweet wine.  Again, most of the wine world is not sweet.  You’re missing out on a lot more than those who only drink dry wine.

  • People who only drink Chardonnay or Cabernet or Merlot.  Give us a break!  We’ll try pretty much anything.  We’re all into to food and wine pairings.  Chardonnay with steak isn’t exactly the best match.  A big, bold Cab with sea bass probably doesn’t work so well either.  So, keep an open mind and try something different!
  • People who constantly bash muscadine wine.  We get it.  Muscadine wine is different.  There’s a distinctive foxy quality in a lot of muscadine.  We’re not big fans of red muscadine, but we won’t turn up our noses at it.  You shouldn’t either.  Find some that are well made.  Maybe one that isn’t so sweet and try it.  You might be surprised!
  • People who think all US wine comes from California.  Yes, California is responsible for 85% of the wine produced in the US, but if you’re only drinking Napa Cab, you truly are missing out!

  • People who think cider is more akin to beer.  Repeat after us!  Cider is NOT brewed!  It’s fermented!  Thus, it is like wine!  Just because you often see is on tap doesn’t mean it’s beer.  Wine can be served on tap too.  We’d like to see more of that!
  • People who think mead is more akin to beer.  Mead is honey WINE!  It’s fermented.  It’s typically bottled in WINE bottles.  If you’re drinking mead, you’re drinking WINE!
  • People who think all cider is sweet.  Cider can go the range from super sweet to super dry.  Again, don’t be afraid to try even if you don’t think you’ll like!
  • People who think all mead is sweet.  Just because mead is made from honey doesn’t mead that it’s all sweet.  Yes, it will almost always have a flavor of honey, but that’s different than sweet.

  • Farm to fork restaurants who don’t have local wine on their lists.  This is probably #2 on our grievance list right after the kids at wineries.  Don’t call yourself a farm to fork locavore restaurant if you don’t have local wine on this list.  There’s just no excuse!
  • 2017 wines that are already out for sale.  Harvest just happened a few months ago.  There are a few exceptions to this, but as a general rule, wine needs time to age, even white wines.  Don’t rush it out!
  • Shiny black labels on a wine bottle.  They look great, but they’re very difficult when it comes to taking a picture of the bottle.  There are too many glares and reflections.  Matte is the way to go!

So, that’s our list for this year.  Here’s hoping next years list is shorter!  And keeping with this theme, leave us your comments of what’s your grievances are.  Just avoid personal attacks.

Cheers and Happy Festivus for the rest of us!

Posted by Joe Brock in Wine, 6 comments