Today, December 23, 2019, is the celebration of Festivus. Created in 1966 by Daniel O’Keefe and popularized during an episode of the hit TV show, Seinfeld, Festivus is celebrated with Feats of Strength and the Airing of Grievances. So, in that spirit, we’re back for the third year to air a few wine grievances. This is our one post a year that’s not entirely positive. Many of these grievances are the same as last year, but there are a few new ones and some updates. So, sit back. Pour a glass and read on!
These are in no particular order:
- Wines that you can taste but you can’t buy. Why do you allow someone to taste a wine if it’s not for sale to the general public? Of course that’s the wine we want to buy, but we can’t commit to another wine club. Just don’t offer it unless someone does join your wine club.
- Lack of hashtags in posts on social media about wines, wineries, vineyards. You see we’re big proponents of hashtags as a way to brand. So, all you #NCWine folks out there, USE THE DANG HASHTAG!
- Too many hashtags or using hashtags that don’t apply. You don’t need 14 million hashtags on your post especially if they’re hashtags no one else uses. And just because you’re drinking wine in a given region, that doesn’t make it a regional wine. So, don’t post about the Apothic Red you’re drinking in Charlotte and call it #NCWine. Wine is about a sense of place. Apothic Red’s place is not in your wine glass.
- Poor tasting glasses. We’ll admit it. We’re glass snobs. Please no glasses with the “lip” around the rim. These just don’t show wines well. Upgrade the glass and the experience!
- Untrained tasting room staff. There’s nothing worse than tasting room staff who know nothing about the wines they are pouring. We understand that getting good help can be difficult, but a poor experience affects your brand.
- Too many wines on the list. We see this all the time. Wines lists with 10, 15 or even 20 wines. We feel this is just too many to be able to focus on quality unless you have a large production staff. So, scale it back. You don’t need a new wine for every season.
- “Fruited” wines. Why do we need pomegranate, green apple, cranberry, cherry, pineapple and umpteen other fruits added to our perfectly fruity grape wines? Wine grapes produce wines with an abundance of fruit flavors. Let the grapes speak for themselves.
- Wine slushies. Seriously, why is this a thing? Ok, maybe in the summer then it’s 95 degrees and 10,000% humidity, but wine is already extra calories, do you really need all that extra sugar?
- Wineries who aren’t forthcoming in where the grapes for their wine are sourced. We like to know what we’re tasting and where it was sourced. If you’re not using local fruit, admit it. Don’t try to hide it.
- Perfume, cologne, or other powerful scents in the tasting room. Nothing spoils a wine tasting more than someone who’s bathed in perfume or cologne. A majority of the what you taste in a wine is from what you smell. If you can’t smell the wine, it’s likely not going to taste very good.
- Children in tasting rooms. It’s sad that this is still an issue. This is our #1 grievance if we had to rank them. Children can’t drink. Don’t bring them with you to a winery. Wining is an adult thing and many of us wish to adult in peace and quiet.
- Parties of 6 or more in tasting rooms who have not called ahead. This is annoying for tasting room staff and other customers. If you’re in a group, be courteous! Call ahead!
- People who think cider is more akin to beer. Repeat after us! Cider is NOT brewed! It’s fermented! Thus, it is like wine! Just because you often see is on tap doesn’t mean it’s beer. Wine can be served on tap too. We’d like to see more of that by the way!
- Farm to fork restaurants who don’t have local wine on their lists. This is probably #2 on our grievance list right after the kids at wineries. Don’t call yourself a farm to fork locavore restaurant if you don’t have local wine on this list. There’s just no excuse!
So, that’s our list for this year. And keeping with this theme, leave us your comments of what’s your grievances are. Just avoid personal attacks.
Cheers and Happy Festivus for the rest of us!